What does it even mean to be true to yourself?
Everyone of us has their own destiny, their own path, their own mission. When we listen to others opinions and make decisions based off of their expectations, we are not truly aligned with our own destiny. It’s altered and takes us in a different path, one that is not our own.
“It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.” – E. E. Cummings
How do we know if we are doing what we were meant to do? Are you really truly happy with who you are? If you are not happy, chances are you might be on the wrong path. We are responsible for our own happiness. Do you ever feel like this is where you should be in life? Take a step back, take a deep breathe and take it all in. You need to figure out what makes YOU happy.
Find a Creative Outlet
I find that most people who are happy have a creative outlet. When they are in their element, they feel like they are on top of the world. They are content in their lives and need nothing more. Find a hobby that brings you joy. Is it photography? art? music? hiking? Whatever it is, make sure it speaks to your soul. I can’t fully describe the way I feel when I am standing in beautiful light, watching the way it falls across a desert scene.
Stop Worrying What Others Think
You don’t need validation from others to live your life. Realizing your self worth is far more important than getting approval from others. Self love is the answer. When you realize that, you won’t need to pretend to be someone your not. You are worthy of taking that job or buying that new house you worked so hard for. Don’t let others take that away from you because they don’t approve. You deserve happiness.
“You can’t hide who you are, it will only cause you pain.”
― Claire Cullen
Learn to say NO
It can be hard sometimes to say no to people. You may think you owe them something. I learned how to say, “no” running a business. It’s hard when you need to be a business and make a profit. You can’t just give things away when you run a business. I mean would you go to Target and ask them if you could just take that lamp for $10 when the price says $50? No, you would pay the price listed because they are a business. Don’t let people take advantage of you JUST because you know them.
Forgive Yourself and Others
First you need to forgive yourself, then you need to forgive others.
Don’t hold a grudge, it will only make you bitter. I use to carry some dark heavy burdens from my past. I was still figuring out life and didn’t know how to let go of the sadness and anger I had inside. You see, I didn’t grow up in a cookie cutter family. My parents got divorced when I was 9 years old. My mom went down a dark path involving drugs and my dad did things to me that I can’t erase from my memory. I had to find it in myself to forgive both my parents.
When my dad was 55 years old he went into the hospital for a staph infection. They gave him the wrong medications and he went into cardiac arrest. He was put on a ventilator and never was able to recover. Being the oldest child of two, I had to deal with all the final decisions and funeral cost as he never remarried or have life insurance. I took this as a chance to make amends. To let go of all those feelings that has been eating away at me for years. Making sure my dad was in his final resting place among his other family members was the way I was able to forgive him and let go.
As for my mom, I decided it’s not my place to be angry at her. Who am I to judge her? I should just let go of the sadness and love her. She wasn’t the perfect mom but if nothing else she taught me how to be a strong person. That strength, made me the person I am today. There is more things she did wrong than right but she is a different person now. She realizes she can’t get that time back.
I have not seen my mother in 12 years. We talk on the phone from time to time and if that’s the only relationship we have. Life is too short to hold grudges it will just eat away at your soul. I forgive her, but I don’t have to be present in her life. Make it a point to have a relationship with your own children. I can’t imagine not being in their lives or not knowing my own grandchildren.
I don’t have all the answers no one does. When I decided to live a life that makes ME happy, my whole perspective changed. When I decided to let go of all the sadness of my past, all the anger, remove negative people from my life, things started to change. I feel so free, at peace and live with no regrets.